


Talk to Strangers

by blumen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting to Know Each Other, Humor, M/M, Omegle, Trolling, Webcams, literally so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5860552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blumen/pseuds/blumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What better way was there to spend a Friday night pretending to be a woman to troll lonely men on Omegle? Come on, it wasn't as if Levi had anything better to do with his time. Most would have fled by now but youngdumbandfullof_cum proves to be as surprising as his name is stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk to Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> You'd think after years of writing fanfiction I'd finally learn how to write summaries  
> lol nope
> 
> This has been in my drafts for a while and I finally got around to writing it. Maybe one day I'll stop writing ereri oneshots but I still have a long way to go before I get to that point. Anyway, hope you enjoy whatever the fuck this is

If Levi were to blame someone it would be Hanji for planting the idea in his head in the first place but honestly he just had a little too much time on his hands and an incapability of handling boredom.

The first time was a joke. A stupid dare that Levi had been both too intoxicated and too carefree to really care about the consequences. Because why would pretending to be a woman to troll random lonely divorced fathers on the internet end badly when you've just drowned your fifth shot? Because it was fun, that's why.

But the second time, well... What was the phrase? First time's an accident, the second's a hobby-if you could even call it that. By the fifth time, it's pretty clear to see that you've got a problem.

So there Levi was, making the most of a Friday evening by squeezing into a tight leather dress, cringing at the rough surface of it on his skin. Leather wasn't exactly the softest of materials but he wasn't wearing it for the comfort. Levi looked good in leather; he wasn't one to deny that. He sat onto his bed, feeling the springs cry in protest, to adjust his grainy webcam for the perfect view of his accomplished behind. Opening up Omegle, Levi set his interests as 'sex' and awaited the influx of horny nerds. The results weren't disappointing to say the least.

The first few were the usual faceless penises which either belonged to a prepubescent boys or fifty year old men. Their reactions were boring; once Levi revealed his face they simply shut off their webcams probably to have a sexuality crisis. A few teenage girls who should believe in themselves a bit more and a grandmother who must have stumbled across the bad side of the internet later, Levi's trolling thirst had been nearly quenched. Just one more to go before he'd have his night time tea and read before going to sleep.

The first thing Levi registered about the next user was that he was far too attractive to a website like this. He was the premium section of Pornhub standard at the very least. With long chocolate brown hair and eyes gleaming brighter than a fire he was the perfect mix between a wet dream and a teen pop idol. Surely he wouldn't struggle finding willing participants for late night Friday activities. But nonetheless, the rather pleasant appearance of the stranger didn't matter. He'd look far more entertaining having his lazy smile plastered over with embarrassed shock.

Levi started simply; the generic shake of the hips added with some jiggling of the thighs to capture his attention, which was effortlessly gained. The man's eyes traced his every movement. Not like a hunter sizing up his prey like most, more like a spectator at an art gallery, appreciative of the artwork but with enough respect to know not to touch.

He stretched and pulled at the fabric calculatingly, plotting which directions would accentuate his features best. Levi was putting more effort in than he should. Hell, he could start doing the macarena and this guy would probably gaze at him like a book snob towards an exclusive edition of To Kill A Mockingbird. Perhaps if Levi spent less time reading and more time interacting with humans he'd stop thinking in metaphors. But alas, today was not that day.

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

very sexy

Levi snorted. At least he was literate; although not very intelligent if that was his username. He feared for the younger generation's pride and dignity. If it even existed any more. _Let's see if you still think that in a moment_ Levi thought gleefully to himself, imaging his face twisting comically at the big reveal. But no. After an unapologetic slap to the arse and an over-dramatic spin revealing his face, he received no such thing.

He waited for the anger of capslock, an agape mouth...anything. Levi perched down onto his ankles to glare into his webcam, waiting for some kind reaction, if any at all.

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

why did you stop??

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

I'm clearly a guy?

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

oh okay then

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

and?

Levi didn't usually have to deal with those that swung both ways when it came to this particular pastime so his expertise on handling the situation was limited. As far as this stranger was concerned his free show was being interrupted.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

This is normally where you should freak out

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

why?? I don't care whats between your legs

This wasn't what Levi had intentioned.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

You've got this sussed out wrong. This isn't done to quench my insecurities; I'm literally just a massive troll who enjoys pissing off straight guys

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

oh

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

can you carry on now

Levi stared incredulously into the camera. Did he still not get it?

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

I'm not a cam model

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

you should be

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

youre pretty hot you know

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

i'd pay for a show

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

I've already got a job kid

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

im not a kid I bought a vegetable the other day

It was hard to tell if he was being serious or not.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

How old are you? If you're a minor you understand that I'm going to close this window, right?

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

it's cool, im 20. name's eren btw

Levi's eyes twitched at the grammar, or lack thereof.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

If you're twenty you should know what punctuation is

The man, or boy should Levi say, rolled his eyes.

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

lifes too short for apostrophises

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

its not like anyone cares anyway

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

people here either want to get off or geek out together

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

well some like to act they live under bridges but thats none of my business

Was Levi being sassed? This really wasn't what he had originally planned to come of this. First the guy he was shaking his arse at wasn't one of the heterosexual kind, then they actually talk to each other, and then he's receiving jabs like a sluggish boxer.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

What else am I supposed to do with my Friday nights?

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

idk

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

watch films

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

hang out with friends

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

shit

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

do you have friends?

Levi let the comment slide. It didn't seem to come out of a place of malice.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

I prefer a more solitude lifestyle

Not to say that he didn't love his friends but socialization was something Levi could only manage in small doses.

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

so you don't have any friends then

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

that's quite sad actually

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

ill be your friend then!!

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

Not with that grammar you won't

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

Is this good enough for you, Grandad?

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

I'm not even old enough to be your father

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

you act like it

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

how old are you anyway

_Wouldn't you like to know?_

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

Twenty-nine if you must know

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

so youre a proper adulty adult

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

does that mean you can cook????

Hissing out a grimace, Levi bitterly reminisced over university days spent living on Potnoodle.

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

Yes. Let me guess, you can't?

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

well sorta my mum taught me

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

but i wasnt very good at it

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

Where do you live?

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

whoa there to catch a predator

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

you've got no chill

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

im too young and pretty to die

five-foot-a-bitch is typing

You're actually an idiot. I can't let another student suffer like I did. Trust me, I've got better things to do with my time.

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

clearly not if youre here

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

but im up to meeting you anyway, you seem pretty cool

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

however

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

1 youre not coming to my house until i properly know you

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

2 were meeting in public

youngdumbandfullof_cum is typing

3 I need your name so my friends know what to say to the police when you throw me in a ditch

They briefly exchanged Facebook accounts for ease. Levi didn't know how he would explain having a student called Eren Yeager with no mutual friends on his Facebook but it's not like anyone studied his page religiously enough to actually notice. The only thing worth regarding on Levi's profile were occasional pictures of his cat Snuggles and insults directed towards moronic vines Hanji tagged him in.

Eren's facebook page was what you would expect of the typical student, crammed with statuses about hangovers and exams complimented by photos of parties and friend gatherings. A quick check confirmed that it was the same person from the webcam.

It took Levi a moment to realize the ring of a new notification came from his laptop and not from something or the other falling over.

Eren Yeager:holy shit we live really close together

Levi Ackerman: I find it far easier to take you seriously when you're using your actual name

Eren Yeager:its irony

Levi Ackerman: I'm sure that's what they all say...

Eren Yeager:anyway there's this pretty awesome bubble tea place round about where we live where we can talk about cooking or whatever

Levi Ackerman: Bubble tea? You make this sound like a hipster date

Eren Yeager:eh why not? its a date then

 _Oh._ Levi hadn't been expecting that reply. Damn his dumb heart palpitations. He'd literally known this kid for an hour. By the time you surpassed twenty your life should stop having the ability to be a Miley Cyrus film. Levi would know because he had watched far too many teenage Miley Cyrus movies.

Levi Ackerman is typing

Levi Ackerman:

You're on, Yeager

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°


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